December Blog Entries
Home at last – new challenges
Wednesday, December 5
Well, Dad finally made it home yesterday. Hallelujah!! Everyone at the nursing home was very nice. They all seemed to take an interest in Dad because he couldn’t sleep at night and was always going out to the main room to watch TV and eventually fall asleep. They all felt so bad for him that he couldn’t sleep at night.
Now that he’s home the pressures on myself have increased tremendously. I realized it would be a huge responsibility when he came home, but between Mom & Dad, it takes me almost all morning and a good portion of the evening to get them settled. I’m now dispensing medication for both of them. My mother’s medication is pretty easy, but my father’s medication is more complicated. He’s diabetic and his insulin and Prandin were totally changed while he was in the nursing home.
So, now that he’s home I was a little uncertain what to do. The Visiting Nurse came on Wednesday and what a life saver she was. She totally went over all his medications and put a call into Dad’s endocrinologist. We basically kind of went back to his old regimen. The nursing home has to pretty much treat all diabetics alike, I’m sure because of time restraints and personnel. But, he seemed to do ok at the nursing home.
We now have the visiting nurse, physical therapist and a home health aide coming to help him through this period of time. They are all very special, caring people. The nurse will be coming 2 times a week. I believe the physical therapist will be coming 3 times a week, and the home health aide 3 times a week. My mom also has a physical therapist 2 times a week and an occupational therapist 2 times a week. Our home has become a real zoo. But, I’m so thankful that my parents are able to get this kind of care.
I think I learn something new every day about being a caregiver
I took my Dad to the doctor today to go over his medications, etc. I called to see when the visiting nurse would be coming and found out that she couldn’t come today because the insurance would not allow it. Cannot have the nurse come to the home and also go to the doctor on the same day. Good thing to know. Actually makes sense to me. There is no reason to have a nurse come to the home when the patient will be checked over by their physician.
I thought my dad would do a lot better once he got home, but if anything, I think he’s worse. He was probably like this at the nursing home, but just didn’t realize how bad he was. He’s so anxious and on edge. He told the doctor today he can’t stand to have his legs elevated…makes him feel like he wants to climb the wall.
We talked to the doctor about the Prozac he’s been taking ever since he went into the hospital. He was not on it before he was admitted to the hospital. I think it was on a list I had given to the doctor where Dad had his fall. Guess I thought it was crossed off, or else told them he didn’t take it all the time. Anyhow, it was probably given to the paramedics and then given to the hospital and then to the nursing home.
I’m convinced that the Prozac is making Dad have all these anxiety problems. He’s now taking another medication and am hopeful that this will take care of his problem. He’s also developed a bed sore that needs to be watched. On top of all this, he’s constantly up on his leg and I swear at times he’s putting pressure on that leg. I just can’t seem to get through to him how important it is to take care of that leg. It’s really worse taking care of elderly people than little kids.
On a happier note, Ken and I went out and got our Christmas tree today. It was so nice to do something positive. It’s amazing how appreciative you are of small moments of joy when you’re going through a period like this.
Life sure is both hard and interesting sometimes
Sunday, December 9
On the positive side, my father is doing much better. He’s been off Prozac for 2 days now and is doing so much better. He’s still not sleeping in his bed at night, but between his sleeping pill and being off Prozac, he is getting a little sleep at night. Now I have to get his blood sugar from going too low during the night.
Hopefully, by this coming week we’ll have his meds and bed sore all on the right track. Now, if only his leg would heal. He so badly wants to help me, but I’m petrified he’s going to reinjure himself and start all over again.
I’m learning with my mom that we seem to get at odds with one another early in the morning and at bedtime. She’s so used to being on a schedule, and when her schedule is messed up, she becomes very upset. I’m the opposite and very flexible with what I do…I have to be that way.
So, I have to try much harder not to get her upset in the morning, but it’s so hard with only about 5 hours of sleep a day and getting right out of bed at 5-5:30 in the morning and digging right in.
I have to keep doing this until my dad’s leg is better, then he will take over again. I know they don’t want to put me through all this, but there is no alternative. I try so hard to take good care of them, but realize I’m human and can’t get all things done totally right.
Alzheimer’s is such an insidious disease
On Saturdays I take Ken’s mom grocery shopping and any other errands she needs to get done. I will not let her go in any store or anywhere by herself. Up until the end of this summer, she was going into the library and drugstore by herself. She’s extremely unsteady, has a hard time hearing or understanding other people and has a hard time communicating with people…can’t get out the words she wants to say.
So, I try to stick close by her whenever we go shopping. Yesterday she was writing a check out for cash and could not remember how to do it. While I was in the post office she finished writing it out. From the post office we went to the drugstore and then straight to the bank…probably about 15 minutes from the time she wrote out the check. By the time we got to the bank, she did not remember writing out that check. I was totally shocked and amazed.
Her memory is going downhill so fast…just can’t believe it. Ken’s been taking her to her doctors to help me out and I know it upsets him too seeing her deteriorate so rapidly. I think she does realize what is happening to her and gets so upset whenever she does something like that. She’s still dispensing her own medication and I really would like to take over that responsibility. I think she’s doing it properly or else I would have insisted I do it for her.
My responsibilities have increased ten-fold
I just hope we can keep caring for them without totally ruining ourselves. I’ve taken over all financial responsibilities for my parents, doing their shopping and taking care of their prescription needs. And, of course, all the calling back and forth about many miscellaneous things.
Ken’s mom also needs a lot of additional help. In the past week, I virtually have had no down time to myself…maybe 10 minutes here and there every once in a while. It does get me down every once in a while and I try to shake it off as much as I can.
Today I decorated the tree and put on some Christmas music and think I enjoyed decorating the tree this year more than any other time. Then when Ken got home, we got all the Christmas decorations out and put them up. It was wonderful therapy. It seems like anything I do that does not include being a caregiver becomes such an enjoyable thing.
I just look so forward to our Saturday nights out. Ken and I don’t stay out long, just enough time to get reacquainted with each other. We’re both so unbelievably busy…not a good thing.
I’m so looking forward to having our family come for the holidays. It seems like it’s been forever since we’ve seen them and played with our grandkids. Can’t wait! Definitely need some young children running through the house and making some noise. Will be great!
The adventure is getting more intense every day
Thursday, December 13
Can’t believe so much time has passed since my last entry. Every day is such an adventure for both Ken and me. Ken has been extremely busy with the business and also getting his mom to all her doctor and dental visits.
Ken is taking his mother to the doctor who treats her for Alzheimer’s on Monday. She has been going downhill quite rapidly for the past couple of months. She can’t remember things that she did 15 minutes ago and has a hard time following simple instructions that are written down for her. She sometimes will come down in the morning totally confused. One morning she came down and said she wasn’t feeling well, but could not describe what was wrong with her.
She’s very aware that she’s having these problems and keeps saying that it’s not her. It’s very hard for her to communicate as well. She constantly is struggling for words to describe what she is talking about. It’s frustrating to her and also to us. Not sure if any other medication will help her, but at least maybe we can understand how to deal with her situation a little bit better.
Dad has been a real challenge to me, so much more than I ever thought he would be. He’s such an easy-going guy and we would never think he would do the things he’s been doing. Under normal circumstances he’s quite rational. He refuses to keep his leg elevated and as a result his leg is very swollen. He refuses to sleep in his bed and ends up sleeping sitting up, with his legs on the floor.
He’s been doing this ever since he was released from the hospital to the nursing home. I thought it was just that he couldn’t relax in the nursing home, but he’s been every bit as bad at home. He’s very anxious. The physical therapist explained to me that it’s very normal for an elderly person who was previously a caregiver to experience these problems.
They are upset that they can’t help the person they were caring for before they were incapacitated. Dad did everything for my mother and now he watches me take care of her. He’s not able to get out and drive and do the errands he did before. So, I guess when I think of it like that, I can sort of understand.
Another trip to the ER
Yesterday, the visiting nurse came to see him and saw his leg. She spoke to Dad’s doctor and she wanted Dad to go to the ER. That was the last place in the world I wanted to go, but knew it had to be. The nurse was concerned that he had a blood clot. The only way to find out was to go and get an ultrasound of his leg.
Thankfully, everything was ok. The doctor seems to think he may have early stage cellulitis, which we need to watch. If it gets worse, he’ll have to go on antibiotics. The physical therapist told him some of the bad consequences of cellulitis and none of it was good. He’s diabetic and, if it got bad, he could lose his leg. I kind of think this finally sunk into him and he’s been elevating his leg more today than he has in 8 weeks.
We finally filled out the application for the NJ JAAC program. The caseworker came to the house to go over everything with my mom and dad. They need to know their medical history, medications they take, any medical equipment currently in the home, financial information with all kinds of records, birth & marriage certificates, etc. If they qualify for the program, it will be well worth it. They currently have a wait list for the program.
Christmas will be different this year, but I can’t wait!
I just can’t believe that Christmas is just a little more than a week away. Ken and I have been so busy with all of our responsibilities that the time has kind of just passed us by. Years past, I would have been so stressed out over Christmas by now that is, not having more shopping done, etc.
But this year, I’m so much more laid back about the whole holiday. I love to hear the Christmas music in the stores when we do go out Christmas shopping; it just makes me feel good. We know we can’t make Christmas quite the same as years past, but I think this Christmas is going to be more meaningful to us in many ways. Our children & grandkids will be coming the end of this week and we just can’t wait to see them all.