January Blog Entries
The Holidays Were a Whirlwind
Sunday, January 6, 2008
It’s been several weeks since I made any entries to this diary. So much has happened, not sure I can begin to remember it all. For one thing, I had no idea how Ken and I were ever going to get through the holidays with everything that we had to do. But, we did it and we really did have a very nice Christmas with our family. Family makes all the difference in the world!! All the problems we’ve had with our parents seemed so much easier to handle when our children and grandchildren were here.
This was the first holiday that I was not so uptight about everything. Years past, I would have been up all hours shopping, wrapping gifts, baking, preparing different foods for the holiday, etc. In other words, stressing out big time. This year we had plenty of stress, but we did make sure that we still had our couple of hours on Saturday nights leading up to the holidays.
Friday, January 18
Boy have we been busy with parents and business, both Ken and I! I didn’t realize it was so long since my last entry, so this will be a recap of what has been happening.
We did have a very nice holiday. The one bad thing that happened was that my dad fell down on Saturday night before New Year’s Day around 11 at night. He fell hard again and our family was still visiting. We all ran into my parents’ apartment and found my dad on the floor in the bathroom. He had a gash in his head and was bleeding, but not real bad. He was shaking, probably upset from the fall. We didn’t know whether we should take him to the ER or not. We really didn’t want to if we didn’t have to, since he had been through so much in the past few months.
We kept an eye on him and our son stayed up and checked on him every once in a while. The next day he seemed to be improving and the gash seemed to be ok. He was still weak and wobbly, but little by little seemed to be getting stronger. The weird thing was that he didn’t remember how he fell and actually doesn’t remember falling. He does remember Ken and our son picking him up.
Back to quiet… back to our reality
The next day our family left, which was New Year’s Eve day. Of course, the house was so quiet without all of them again. Dad seemed ok that day…he rested most of the day. The bad thing was that he had no appetite, which is not normal for my father. Prior to his first fall, he had a bottomless pit when it came to eating.
I tried to get him to eat, but he just picked at his food. For the most part, he had been monitoring himself for his blood sugar and also doing his own insulin injections. Dad told me on New Year’s Eve that the needle bent and was not sure how much insulin he had injected into himself. I didn’t think too much of it.
The next morning, New Year’s Day, we started out with a real bang. His blood sugar was high and so I assumed that he either didn’t get any insulin or else not enough. So I gave him another insulin shot that morning. At lunch time, his blood sugar had shot up to 410, which was way out of line for my father. So, I called his endocrinologist and luckily he called back within 5 minutes.
Couldn’t believe it…New Year’s Day!! He said we should go to the ER and get checked. He thought my dad could be dehydrated. Diabetics’ blood sugar will go high if they are not properly hydrated. I know dad was drinking quite a bit the day before. Anyhow, we spent New Year’s afternoon sitting in the ER. Dad had a CT Scan, blood work, urinalysis, was checked over, and everything seemed to be ok. His blood sugar was still high at the hospital, but it did come down quite a bit.
He basically ate nothing that day. The doctor said he could have had some sort of an episode that made him fall, but wasn’t sure. Sometimes after a fall, a person can exhibit almost flu-like symptoms. So, we still don’t know for sure what caused him to fall.
One possibility is that he was taking Ambien, a sleeping pill, which the doctor said can be addicting to some people. Dad just wanted that pill every night, but he’d only sleep for a few hours and then be walking all over the place and really kind of out of it, and also started walking without his walker. It became a real problem. Anyhow, we kind of think that may have been part of the problem with his fall.
Crisis again
My father seemed to be getting better, but then two days after New Year’s he fell again. I believe it was 2 times that one day. He became so weak and developed diarrhea, became incontinent, and was just plain totally out of it. Ken and I thought we were going to have to have someone come in and care for them 24/7. Dad’s care was just getting so beyond us. We just did not know which way to turn.
I believe that week was the worse week of my life with caring for my parents. I wasn’t able to get my work done at the office and was constantly cleaning up after my dad. I was totally frustrated and exhausted. By that Saturday night, when I got into bed, I had serious back pain and had myself convinced that I did some serious damage again to my back. I had back surgery a little over a year ago and was perfectly ok. I guess, between trying to get my dad up and the stress of it all was just too much on my back. Thankfully, after one whole day of being good to my back, it’s ok again!
Anyhow, Dad did stabilize over the next few days. He was still very weak and not himself, but by the following Monday, we returned to Dad’s family doctor. She changed his sleeping pill and also gave him a Vitamin B12 shot. From that point forward, he seemed to do a real turn around. Still don’t know what was wrong for sure, but we do think the Ambien had a lot to do with his problem.
Some people should not take certain types of medication and I think Dad is definitely one of them. I also remember when I was much younger, I worked for a doctor, back in the 60s and elderly people were always coming in to get a B12 shot. I think I remember reading that this vitamin B12 shot is making a comeback in the elderly generation. It could also be making a very positive effect on Dad. Anyhow, we’re getting him back!! There really is a light at the end of the tunnel. Didn’t think we’d ever be able to say that about Dad again.
Ken’s mother’s dementia continues to be a challenge
Kind of backtracking now. Just to bring us up to date with Genevieve, Ken’s mom. Last week was her week. She went to her eye specialist, foot doctor (all 3 went to the foot doctor), skin doctor and the dentist.
Ken and I thought she was getting better with her mind. The neurologist tried a new medication on her and it really seemed like her memory was getting better, not searching for words as desperately as she used to.
But, then she seemed to go backwards again. She can’t remember what doctor she’s going to and many times she can’t even remember the doctor. Usually she’ll remember them when she sees the actual doctor.
It seems many times like her hearing is getting worse, but we think her mind can’t process what she’s hearing properly. The only way she can hear is to totally focus in on the conversation, which does not happen very often. She seems to be falling asleep more and more during the day and has gone downhill dramatically in the past few months. Hopefully, she’ll feel much better when nice warm spring weather returns. We all will!!
My mother also continues to be a real challenge!
We’ve been having a physical therapist and an occupational therapist coming to the house for her. I think in some respects she is getting stronger…so does the physical therapist. She is able to get in and out of chairs so much better than she used to. But, at the same time, she’ll say how weak she is and how much she hurts.
The occupational therapist is pushing her to try to do more and more tasks. She’s encouraging her to do her word scrambler puzzles again. She used to love to do them, but just totally lost interest in everything. She can’t concentrate on reading anything. The one and only thing she does enjoy is music…especially music from the 40s. Music is her first and one true love…very therapeutic to her.
Each and every new day for Ken and me seems to have some sort of new challenge waiting for us, but we are ready and able to face whatever is being thrust upon us…some days are just harder than others. Guess that’s the case for most families.
Believe it or not, life is getting a little bit better with our parents!
Sunday, January 27
Dad is making a tremendous recovery. For as bad as he was, he’s done a total turn-around. We had ourselves convinced that he would need total 24-hour in-home care, so needless to say, we are very relieved.
We went back to Dad’s orthopedic surgeon last week and he said he was healing very nicely. He’s now walking with a cane and doing a good 50% or more of the chores that he used to do. He wants to do everything, but there is a limit. He’s still getting physical therapy, but that will most likely end in a couple of weeks, as well as the home health aid.
They’ve all been so wonderful to my dad. We would have been totally lost without them. Dad’s so anxious to get back outside again. He and my mom both feel totally housebound. He made sure that we found the power cord to his scooter so he can get that all charged up and ready to go. We also went to Motor Vehicle on Thursday to get his license renewed. Dad still has to prove to me that his driving skills are ok.
The doctor said it would be ok for him to drive, as long as his reaction time is good. So, I think he’ll be doing most of the work and chores that he did before the accident. I would never have believed that 2 weeks ago! So, now I am able to get up about an hour later in the mornings. It’s so wonderful!!
As to my mother, she has certain problems that will never change
Her physical therapy ended last week. She really did do well with it. Her legs and arms are actually pretty strong, but for some reason she doesn’t seem to have the strength to do a lot of chores. But, on a positive note, she gets in and out of chairs by herself…not that it’s easy for her, but she knows that she can do it and has to do it.
She also got over the fear of getting a bath in the tub. We have a special bench for the tub. One side of the bench legs sits in the tub and the legs on the other side sit on the outside of the tub. She’s able to sit down on the bench on the outside of the tub and then rotate her bottom so that her legs are in the tub.
She was petrified the first time she used the bench, but now she does quite well with it. Her power wheel chair is also great for her. It has a power lift in it and when her back is hurting badly, she can sit in the chair and get the weight of her upper body off of her lower spine. This also forces her upper body into a more upright position and helps her breathe easier.
She still is receiving occupational therapy two times a week. This is really great, because the therapist is constantly challenging her mind. She’s constantly trying to get her to solve certain puzzles. She also had Mom sitting at the organ and playing a song for her. She used to love playing her organ.
She also has her in the kitchen, doing minor things…like getting herself a drink of water or getting something out of the refrigerator. We just found their boom box, which was hidden in the closet. While Dad was in the nursing home, we were trying everything we could think of to make his stay a little better.
One thing we got was some CDs of big bands from the 40s. Anyhow, now Mom and Dad are playing these CDs and totally enjoying them…especially Mom. She always said music was therapy to her and how true it is for her. She even enjoyed the music so much that she was moving her feet while using her walker.
As for Genevieve, Ken’s mom…she’s an adventure every day
We never know which Genevieve is going to show up in the morning. She always seems her best if she gets up at her normal time in the morning. When she sleeps in a lot later in the morning, it seems to throw her off the whole day.
She loves to keep busy…that’s the only way she’s happy. I came home from work the other day and found her on the floor in the living room. I don’t know how long she was there, but my guess is it was a good half hour or more. She was all over the floor trying to get herself up, but just couldn’t do it.
Mom and Dad were over in their apartment, which is really just a room away, but they never heard her and didn’t know she had fallen. I tried one time to get her up, but there was no way in the world I could get her up without totally destroying my back.
I called Ken and he came right home. It was even hard for Ken to pick her up. Luckily, Ken was able to get his mom up. But, I told her that if Ken is not in town and it’s just me, the next time we’ll have to call 911.
Ken and I are making a big push for all 3 of our parents to get some kind of Medic Alert device. Even though they all share the same house, they don’t know what has happened to each other at times. We wanted them to get one over a year ago, but they all fought us on it. Guess they didn’t see the need for it. But, I think they realize it’s necessary now.
Caregiving at 95
My grandmother, who is 95 years old, is still in great shape, living alone and still driving. Her sister, who is 97, was also living alone until last week. She fell in her home and no one knew about it. Neither my grandmother nor her sister have a Medic Alert device.
When my grandmother’s sister fell, she was obviously alone and unable to get to a phone. She lives in a row home and was able to get to the wall and pound on the wall. Her next door neighbor luckily heard her and was able to help her. She was hospitalized and had broken ribs and a fracture of her spine. She stayed with my grandmother for about a week, which was very difficult for my grandmother. It’s a little hard to become a caregiver at the age of 95.
After staying with my grandmother for a week, her sister had to go back to the hospital with a different problem and from there went into a nursing home. She was told she could no longer live alone. So now my grandmother has the task of putting up her sister’s home for sale. My grandmother had power of attorney for her sister. But, luckily, her sister transferred the power of attorney over to one of her previous neighbors.
Ken and I always dreaded what was going to happen to my grandmother and her sister when they would need help. My dad and I have power of attorney for my grandmother. My father is also an only child and my grandmother is my dad’s step mother. So she has no one else to care for her when she needs help.
Her sister has no one else either. We feel very bad for my grandmother, because she could use some help from us right now. Luckily, she has the most wonderful friends and neighbors in the world who have really stepped up to help her. Don’t know what we would do without them.
It really becomes a major problem when a husband and wife are both only children and have elderly parents and a grandparent with an elderly sister who all have health problems. But, someway, somehow, problems do get solved