April Diary Entries
I’m grateful
Friday, April 11
Time sure has a way of getting away from me. Dad has been improving every day. My only problem now is that I’m like a mother hen who’s hesitant to allow her young children to leave the nest. Now that he’s feeling much better, he’s just raring to start doing all kinds of work. I realize this is a good thing. My problem is that I don’t want him to fall and break more bones. The thought of him doing that again just gives me the chills.
He thinks he can putter around like he always did. The problem now is that he’s out of shape and not as flexible as he used to be. Dad is driving again and seems to be handling that ok. Mom won’t allow him to drive anywhere without her in the car, which is a good thing. They are now doing a lot of their own errands, which does free me up a little more. I am grateful for that.
Mom seems to be backsliding a little bit. It’s really hard to tell sometimes if she’s really feeling a lot weaker or if she’s more depressed than usual. She’s been so fearful of ending up in a nursing home like Genevieve, Ken’s mother. There is not a day that goes by that she thinks that she has gone downhill since Ken’s mom had her stroke. I keep reassuring her that she’s doing just fine.
I think she misses her physical and occupational therapy sessions with the girls. She used to complain that they were so hard on her, but the reality of it is that she looked forward to them coming. It broke up the day for her. At least now with the warmer weather coming, it gets both Mom and Dad out of the house. This past winter was hard on them…especially since Dad couldn’t get out to do any errands. So, barring any catastrophes, they should have a pretty good summer.
As for Genevieve, she’s another story
So far, she’s made five trips to the Emergency Room. The last two times it was not necessary to admit her. Last Thursday the nurse at the nursing home called 911. They said her lips were blue, her skin tone was very pale and she was limp like a rag doll.
They took her over to the Emergency Room and again did all kinds of tests on her. Nothing abnormal showed up this time, so they transported her back to the nursing home. Ken was with her first at the ER and then I came to relieve Ken. She slept the entire time she was in the ER and never woke up until she got back in bed at the nursing home.
I went back to the nursing home to see if she needed anything after they got her all settled back into bed. She was surprised to learn that they transported her to the ER and then back to the nursing home again. She was not aware that anything had happened or been done to her.
She still cannot retain any new information or event for any length of time. Our youngest son came home to visit her on Monday night and we’re not sure if she remembers him being there. She did know who he was…so far she seems to remember all of us. Once in a while she doesn’t remember my name and I think sometimes she’s not sure who I am, but she always remembers Ken.
Some days she seems to be pretty lucid and then other days she’s talking to us about doing things that day that she never did. She very often tells us about preparing food for people or family that’s visiting and also will tell us how worn out she is from working so hard. She’s, more times than not, in her own little world.
Getting mom involved
Ken and I spoke to the head of activities on Tuesday night. She wanted to know her hobbies and interests. Genevieve really brightened up when she heard the name John Wayne and the movie “Quiet Man”. She absolutely always loved John Wayne and I believe the movie “Quiet Man” was her all-time favorite movie. The activity director was going to try to get that movie for her.
They are trying so hard at the nursing home to find something that Genevieve will participate in and spark her interests. They’ve been trying to get her to play bingo, but she always refuses. We’re not sure how involved she could be, because she can’t concentrate on any one thing for long.
Ken is out of town on business for a few days and won’t be seeing his mom. She constantly asks for Ken, so I’m a little concerned how she will react to not seeing him for a few days. I told her about Ken yesterday, but she won’t remember. Hope she’ll be satisfied with just my visit.
Ken and I watched a TV show last week on public TV about 3 or 4 different families caring for their elderly parents. It was very interesting and very hard to watch because it just hit home so hard. These families were going through much of the exact same things that we are going through, except we have 3 elderly parents.
We can handle our situation as long as they don’t all have a problem at the same time. I guess our biggest problem right now is finding someone to take our place when we need to go out of town. This is a major problem that we still have not figured out.
Well, I made it through with Ken out of town for 3 days
Wednesday, April 23
I was really concerned as to how Genevieve would react without seeing Ken for so many days in a row. But, she got through it like a real trooper. Then, on top of Ken being out of town, he had 3 different surgical procedures the week of his return, which meant he couldn’t get over to see his mom.
And, the jinx seems to be broken with Ken and his mom going into the hospital at the same time. Halleluiah!! Thankfully, each day since my last entry she seems to be getting brighter and more alert each day. So, she was aware that Ken had several surgical procedures done and would ask me how he was doing and was so thrilled when she heard he was ok.
Our visits with Genevieve vary according to how alert she is. Some days she’s asleep when we come in and has a little difficulty totally waking up. But, those days seem to be getting fewer and farther between. She still thinks a good percentage of times that she is somewhere else, I think sometimes back at her house. She’ll tell us about different things she wants to get at the store or else she thinks we are picking her up to go out to dinner.
Of course, she’s always disappointed when we tell her she has to get better before we can take her out to dinner. She is eating better and getting stronger. She also exercises with the rest of the residents on her floor. She shows us the different exercises she does and is very proud that she’s able to do them.
We got Genevieve new reading glasses, as she lost her old glasses somewhere in the nursing facility. She was constantly complaining that she couldn’t see anything. She really needs glasses for distance, as well, but we felt her reading glasses were the most important for the moment.
It was the best thing we could have done for her, as she was an ardent reader. We brought in a book for her and she has been attempting to read it. She keeps losing her place, but she tells Ken and me what she has read to date. Her speech therapist has her read from her book and then has her tell the therapist about the story.
My mom and dad are presently status quo
My father had a dexa scan and just recently received the results. He has severe osteoporosis, which explains the fractures he’s been having. So, he is going to have to be extremely cautious about everything he does. I told him I’m going to wrap him up in bubble wrap!
He is also now on Actinel, which is the same medication that my mother takes for her osteoporosis. The doctor put them both on the monthly version of the medication, which is great! My mom always would stress big time about her weekly pill. The doctor also put them both on calcium with vitamin D. Hopefully, this will reverse the deterioration of my father’s bones. He is very frail and unsteady and obviously a major risk for falling.
And, of course, he wants to do a lot of work that he shouldn’t even consider. But, I have to admit that he’s become a little bit more cautious than he was before. The one good thing with my father is that his blood sugar and blood pressure have been very good.
My mother is still pretty much the same. She’s very worried that her mind is getting worse because she has a hard time remembering things. She’s also convinced that she had a stroke, which is possible that she did a while back. She’s very bent over and extremely weak and not getting any better. But, if it were not for her back and her extreme weakness, she’d be in pretty good shape.
Escape to Virginia!
Monday, April 28
Well, I had a little break this weekend and went to visit our family in Virginia. We haven’t seen them since Christmas, so was a real nice treat for me. Unfortunately, Ken and I can’t travel together right now because of the situation with our parents.
So, this weekend Ken took care of my mom and dad and also went to visit his mom. Luckily, my parents didn’t have any problems. Ken’s mother is getting stronger and stronger every day now. It’s just totally amazing! We never expected her to be anywhere near where she is right now.
They reevaluated her for physical therapy and she is now getting 2 hours of physical therapy a day. Before, she only did some exercises from her wheelchair, which all of the residents do, no matter how bad they are. We have no idea how much improvement she will have.
But, once she’s alert and knows she has to do something to get better, she totally focuses on doing exactly what she is told. So, who knows, maybe she’ll make it back home. We’re taking it one day at a time. We really do feel that she does have a chance as long as she doesn’t have any more setbacks.